It’s no wonder men and women can have a hard time understanding each other in conversation!
Deborah Tannen points out in her book, “You Just Don’t Understand”:
Men are often inclined to focus on jockeying for status in conversation: Is the other person trying to one-up me or put me down? Is the other trying to establish a dominant position?
Women are more often attuned to the negotiation of connections: Is the other person trying to get closer or pull away?
Since both elements are present, it’s easy for women and men to focus in different elements in the same conversation”.