Here are some suggestions:

• Buy yourself something you would love i.e.: flowers and chocolate
• Take a long, luxurious bubble bath, with candles and soft music
• Make yourself a special dinner and watch a feel good movie
• Make a list of the things you love and appreciate about yourself!
• Ask a friend to have dinner and watch an enjoyable movie
• Go out to a singles event or bar. Dress to attract!
• There’s a singles jazz night at the Clarion Hotel in Northampton, on Valentines Day 7pm
• Check out meetup.com to find people with similar interests ie: singles, hiking, dining etc.
• Explore some singles sites online
• Make a list of the qualities you’d like to have in a partner
• Contact me to help you write or update a personal ad and how to attract your ideal partner

It was no secret that Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown had a very intense relationship filled with conflict. No surprise, looking at their relationship through the lens of The Compatikey Relationship Mapping System, we can see why.

They were opposite Relationship Styles. Whitney was a Football Relationship Style, and Bobby was the Basketball Relationship Style.

Meaning Whitney liked stability and ease in relationship and Bobby liked stimulation and a lot going on in relationship.

Their physical chemistry was out of balance. She had a “magnetic” attraction to him and he had a “neutral” attraction to her, and their movement chemistry, was “clumsy”.

Their heart chemistry was the strongest and equal to each other. That’s was the glue of that relationship, but it was also their curse, because of the opposites everywhere else, and they had no tangible understanding of this or how to work with it.

Without the understanding of these “hidden” differences, and how to manage it, it’s enough to drive two people crazy, especially Whitney, since she was the Football Relationship style with the magnetic attraction to Bobby.

Wishing everyone, less conflict and more love.

It can make the difference between being seen as supportive and loving or as critical and hurtful.

Pause before you respond, consider what you want to relay and adjust your tone.

Wishing you more love and ease in your relationships!

I was wondering how long this relationship was going to last!

If they would have had the understanding that they have different relationship styles and different plan styles and how to manage that, they may not be where they are at now. This information could help them heal their relationship.

So here are the stats: Johnny is the “Football Relationship Style” meaning he likes stability and ease in relationship. Vanessa is the “Basketball Relationship Style”, meaning she likes stimulation and a lot going on in relationship.

Johnny is the “Pencil Plan Style” meaning he likes to go with the flow. Vanessa is the “Pen Plan Style”, meaning she likes to have a plan.

So, you could imagine how having these differences and not knowing them, could create a lot of conflict in any relationship.

Oh, I meant to also mention, they both have a low tolerance for stress….and conflict can be exhausting!

The glue of this relationship is/was their “Heart Chemistry”….which is the same towards each other. When they met, I bet it felt like they’d known each other for centuries.

The “Physical Chemistry” is out of balance, but their “Movement Chemistry” is playful and friendly.

I’m a romantic. I’m holding out hope for them, meaning I’m hoping they get in touch with me so they have a higher chance of making this relationship work, if they choose to.

Patty “The Love Doctor”

Helping people have less conflict and more love!

“We are far more likely to get our needs met if we tell people what we need instead of evaluating them” says Marshall Rosenberg, who developed and teaches NVC (non-violent communication). 

It’s crucial to our own health and the health of our relationships to figure out what are the unmet needs we fighting for and then be able to discuss that with our partner without arguing.

See if you can find your most common argument centered around one of your basic unmet needs from the list below.

Here are our 9 Basic Needs (according to Rosenberg):

1. Sustenance (food, shelter, water)

2. Safety

3. Love

4. Empathy

5. Rest (recreation/play)

6. Communication

7. Creativity

8. Autonomy

9. Meaning/Purpose  (need to contribute to life and people in a meaningful way)

Once we identify the need we can then and only then find strategies to meet that need. So cool!

NVC is just one of the tools I use in helping people have more love in their lives!

For more information on NVC go to CNVC.org

Take a look at Britney and Jason’s Relationship Map, in comparison to her last two relationships.

1. According to Simon Baron-Cohen, PhD, author of The Essential Difference: Male and Female Brains and the Truth About Autism, men’s neurological wiring tends to make them better at systems, while women are superiorly rigged for empathy.
2. Biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, PhD, notes: “The two brain hemispheres are less well connected in men than in women. This gives men the ability to focus on one thing at a time and be very goal oriented, whereas the female brain is built to assimilate many feelings at once.
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Understanding-the-Male-Brain#ixzz1eN27k8Lb

It doesn’t mean tolerating abuse….but we can apply it to abusive people, so that we can be free of our anger and resentment that we can tend to hold onto, which only hurts us.

I’ve learned I only have control over how I act and feel. I still have a lot to learn, but I know that with love and peace the journey of our lives are much more enjoyable.

 I believe giving and receiving love is what we are here for….and most clearly what I’m here for. To learn love, to teach love, to BE love, as best I can… more often than not.