Did you know that arguments are “tragic expressions of unmet needs”?
“We are far more likely to get our needs met if we tell people what we need instead of evaluating them” says Marshall Rosenberg, who developed and teaches NVC (non-violent communication).
It’s crucial to our own health and the health of our relationships to figure out what are the unmet needs we fighting for and then be able to discuss that with our partner without arguing.
See if you can find your most common argument centered around one of your basic unmet needs from the list below.
Here are our 9 Basic Needs (according to Rosenberg):
1. Sustenance (food, shelter, water)
2. Safety
3. Love
4. Empathy
5. Rest (recreation/play)
6. Communication
7. Creativity
8. Autonomy
9. Meaning/Purpose (need to contribute to life and people in a meaningful way)
Once we identify the need we can then and only then find strategies to meet that need. So cool!
NVC is just one of the tools I use in helping people have more love in their lives!
For more information on NVC go to CNVC.org