To have more peace and love in any relationship, it’s important that men and women understand that we think, feel and communicate differently. We can also have “invisible differences”, that are at the core of a lot of the conflict in relationships. I show people these invisible differences using The Compatikey Relationship Mapping System®.
You can start having more peace & love in your life:
Whether you are single looking to date more successfully or have conflict in any relationship these understandings will impact all areas of your life in an extraordinary way!
Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
Just thought I’d give you a few books to explore to help you with some deeper understanding for inner & relational peace.
By John Gray:
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
Mars and Venus Together Forever
Venus on Fire, Mars on Ice
By Dr. Louann Brizendine:
The Female Brain
The Male Brain
Shari Klein & Neill Gibson:
What’s Making you Angry? 10 Steps to Transforming Anger So Everyone Wins
A Couples Retreat Book
A Women’s Retreat Book
Love is Letting Go of Fear
Thich Nhat Hanh:
The Heart of Understanding
Relationship Expert, John Gray share's these tips about how to avoid fights in your relationship:
8 mistakes MEN make in an argument
1. Aggressive tone or loud voice
Men can care so much about being right that they don't realize that they often sound threatening and overwhelming.
2. Condescending comments
Phrases like, "Don't worry about it." or "It's not a big deal." are big mistakes because it does not acknowledge her feelings.
3. Interrupting her with arguments that invalidate her feelings or correct her observations
A typical comment would be "You shouldn't feel that way." Instead of taking time to reflect and saying something like, "I understand you think that..."
4. Read more [...]
Masculine energy: likes to achieve rather than experience
Feminine energy: likes to experience rather than achieve.
Masculine energy is more about action: doing, thinking, decision making, logistics, analyzing, figuring out, planning, solving, leading.
Feminine energy is more about feeling: expressing, intuiting, just being, receiving, following.
Note: We all have these energies; we use them at different times in our lives. Depending on the amounts of estrogen and testosterone in our bodies, we will be most comfortable in either the masculine mode or the feminine mode most often.
Women who have been trained to succeed in business (masculine) will have to use masculine energy Read more [...]
According to John Gottman from his 40 years of research with couples, creating a “Climate of Trust” is key to satisfying & long lasting relationships.
We all need help with this, however, since we only speak our “hormonal/gender specific language”, because that’s what comes most natural to us.
The beginning of creating a “Climate of Trust” is understanding the differences that create conflict. It’s through this understanding we can have compassion, acceptance and openness to learn skills on how to listen & communicate across the hormonal/gender differences so we can have a “Climate of Trust” in which we and our relationships can flourish!
There is a post going around on Facebook, called "An Open Letter To Men From Sexy Consciously Awake Women".
I think the woman who wrote it and the many who share it, have a deep desire to be loved, adored & appreciated. What they clearly don't know yet is the differences between the "masculine & the feminine" person, and how to get their needs met by understanding these important differences.
Generally, and not the rule, the "masculine" person is male and the "feminine" person is the female. What makes a masculine person masculine is the amount of testosterone they have in their body, and what makes the feminine person feminine is the amount of estrogen they have in their body.
A Read more [...]
Don't throw the baby out with the bath water!The "baby" I speak of is the Relationship!
Don"t get rid of a man because he's not a women! This is what women unconsciously do! (Men for that matter too.)
Relationships generally end because we don't realize the gender and energetic differences that create conflict in our relationships, so we expect the other person to act and respond the same way we do or would.
I hear from women "I keep picking unavailable men." For the most part they are saying they aren't available to do relationship the same way they do.
Men generally aren't available for (too long if at all):
communication about emotions or intuition (this is something unique Read more [...]
We are all trying to get our needs met as well as help meet others needs around us, as best we can.
Often we are doing this without much clarity of what ours or others needs are or what the best solutions are to meet those needs, which translates, generally, into messy solutions or win/lose solutions to get needs met.
This can be a confusing process given gender difference in how we listen & communicate, along with other potential differences.
Understanding & Clarity is key to personal & relational peace.
"When one person wins, the relationship looses".
I help people find win/win, so the relationship can be a source of strength and joy for both parties.
Check Read more [...]
Here is a simple yet profound exercise to "Practice Peace" so you can be more peaceful & open to enjoying your life in any moment you desire. From this place of peace you can be proactive in getting your needs met, rather than reactive thus creating conflict within yourself and in your life.
This exercise can be done wherever you are, doing whatever you are doing. Especially if you are upset, sad, angry, frustrated, thinking negative thoughts about anything or anyone.
It"s meditation in motion!
Practicing Peace exercise:
Bringing your attention to your breath....
Take slow full deep breaths....deep into your belly.....filling up the sides of your lungs.....then a relaxed out Read more [...]
Men and Women think & feel differently. Generally, a man will ask the question "What do you think", and she will tell you her feelings (or intuition) about something. A women will ask a man " How do you feel", he will tell you what he thinks. It"s a natural way our brains are wired.
A man's opinion or thoughts are just as important as a woman's feelings or intuition. With this understanding you can honor & love each other better.
Here are some helpful tips:
1. For women to know:
If you want a man to listen to you, you'll need to let him know, that it would make you feel better if he "just listen" and that you don’t need him to figure anything out for you or to try Read more [...]
It's been said by many Relationship experts that appreciation is a vital ingredient in your relationships. They also say love and appreciation go hand in hand.
Gary Chapman wrote a book called The 5 Love Languages. He discovered there are different ways people feel loved (and appreciated).
Take the quiz below to find out how you and your partner feel love/appreciated!
Be sure to let others know, so they can show you that you are loved! :)
The 5 Love Languages®
What if you could say or do just the right thing guaranteed to make that special someone feel loved?
The secret is learning the right love language! Millions of couples have learned the simple way to express Read more [...]